Would you date a non-TCK?

Would you date a non-TCK?

When I went to Shanghai a few weeks ago, I met up with one of my dear friends, who also happens to be a TCK. (a.k.a. awesome) We spent hours (snap)chatting away to fill in the 6-month void we had of not seeing each other.

Of course, what is girl talk without the juicy topic of “dating”? My friend brought up an interesting question that really piqued my mind.

“Would you date someone who’s not a TCK?”

Now I actually thought hard about this. It’s definitely easier to date someone with a similar background who understands your values and sees the world the way you see it. But does that mean I won’t date someone because they lack the qualities formerly mentioned? Nope.

My ex-boyfriend was also a TCK whom I went to high school with in Shanghai. While our worldly viewpoint of the world and our love for exploring was what kindled the fire in our relationship in the first place, it was our other differing values that extinguished the fire and ended the relationship.

My current boyfriend is a non-TCK. He was born and raised in his home country and has never lived anywhere else. We both have an undying passion for music, and his unconditional love and care is why I am naturally drawn to him. Sure, there are times I disagree with his comments or viewpoints towards other cultures, but they have never been a deal-breaker. As a matter of fact, I see this as an opportunity to show him the world I see and have experienced (in the least patronizing way, of course).

So what do you think? Would you date a non-TCK?

6 thoughts on “Would you date a non-TCK?

  1. Monika says:

    My boyfriend has also lived in only one country so far but he’s very understanding whenever I feel lost and confused and he’s so loving that the different backgrounds don’t matter at all.

    But I also hardly know any TCKs anymore so I’ve never thought of dating a fellow TCK, haha.

    I wish you a long and happy relationship! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Somin Bach says:

      He’s a very understanding boyfriend! Haha, it sure is a bit harder to meet other TCKs in person when we’re older, right? I hope you and your boyfriend a happy relationship too! πŸ™‚


  2. A says:

    This is a great question! As a TCK myself, I am wondering why I have never thought about it.

    I think this of possible positives and challenges of dating a TCK but I don’t know how meaningful of an exercise it is. There positive and challenges to dating anyone. I am currently in a long distance relationship. As a TCK, a fair share of my relationships have been long distance. My boyfriend is a non-TCK, but I think he has a good handle on ‘dealing with my TCKness’. I think that he can see what can come of as stubbornness as a history of relying on myself and handling situations largely on my own. And I am grateful for this understanding–very grateful.

    When it comes to relationship basics, I think it’s about the fundamental traits of person, regardless of where they are and maybe also, in spite of certain experiences–“Who will that person always be”?

    Thanks for this post!


    Liked by 1 person

    • Somin Bach says:

      I’m happy to hear that you enjoyed this post. πŸ™‚ I completely agree with you on the “fundamental traits of person” aspect. Btw, I’m also in a long-distance relationship with my current boyfriend. *virtual high-five* I wish you guys the best of luck and happiness πŸ˜€


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